i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
