i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
don't judge my taste in strippers
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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