Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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