I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
