She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
