I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
