What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
