Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
