Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
