my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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