wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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