All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Randomize
