Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
