My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I supernannyed him into submission
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
