haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Girls should come with a carfax report
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
