I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I fill condoms, not promises.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
