when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
