goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
