If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
