uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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