ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Randomize
