Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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