but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
