I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
