After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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