A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
