i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
