i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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