Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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