Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
