Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
