Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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