if i can run in heels then i can drive
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Randomize
