I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
