In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
