He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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