I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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