Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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