I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize