Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
