they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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