Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
