At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
