I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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