Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
