she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
