He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
