"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
