Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
