I think my vagina is haunted
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
