uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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