Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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