I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
