uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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