2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
