She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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