how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Come see our sink grown plant.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize