When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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