the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Enjoy the penises
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
