Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
