I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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