gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
