you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
