new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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